Today...might've been the worst day...

Jay Tanoshi · May 04, 2007 8:38 PM

I got in trouble...again at school. I'm not suspended or anything, but...I'll explain it.

The bell rang at 8:23am. I went upstairs to the cafeteria(sp?) to grab something to eat at class. All of a sudden, this guy, I dunno how to spell his name though, making these hand motions that seem like I love to paw off (or #3, whatever you call it), he kept doing it in front of me, calling me names, then...I ran up to him and kicked him. No fight or nothing. I was told to go to my class by a admin. I did, and tried to tell my teacher (Sub. Teacher) that I need to see the school council, I'm upset and everything, but all she kept repeating is, "get inside the classroom." I did, then after announcments are made, I tried to ask, she just ignored me.

I asked again, we were getting somewhere (sort of), the admin came in telling the teacher not to let anyone out (but I didn't hear it). I asked again, she said no, cause the admin said not too. I told her I had permission to go, but no dice. I was so stressed out, full of negative thoughts, my temper rose, and yet, I was so angry with myself. I got so mad at what I did, and everyone in class was making fun of me...I did what I had to do...

...I slammed my forehead against the table. Hard.

The teacher saw it and told me to come outside to talk about why I did that. People kept making fun of me, I had enough...

...I slammed my fist on the table, yelling "That's enough! I had enough!" The teacher called a admin (different one). I was there, crying, on my knees, with my hands on the chalk holder on the chalkboard. She took me to the counselor, and we talked about it. I didn't want to cause problems, or fight. Infact, I wanted to apologize to the guy I kicked before, even if he deserved it, cause he's been picking on me about the same thing for over two years, spreading rumors and stuff to every person he had contact with, but...it was my fault to begin with...I shouldn't have kicked him. My cup was full, almost overflowing, I did what came into my mind.

My dad, the admin, and counselor did talk about it. All dad say was I'm causing the problems. I need to grow up. I know that. I'm just 15, I mean, there's nothing wrong with a 15 year old crying. He's also upset that if he or my mom keeps getting off work because of me, they'll lose their job. I didn't call him, the admin did. Dad also said I don't need to see a counselor, it's a bad thing to do, but the counselor said "If there's any problems going on, let me know."

So...I was sent home, to get away from everyone else. Dad kept telling me to grow up, stop crying, get over what has happened.

Listen, if you've been picked on for...say...almost ten years, all because you're different, and most teachers and parents don't help out, how else can you handle stress???

Dad's thinking the computer's causing all my problems, cause I can chat to someone so easily on the computer, but on the outside world...I cannot. Hell, I'm not supposed to be on the computer, but I wanted to let you guys know of my trouble.

My parents are strict on me, I mean, I had a parental block on my TV for the 9th Grade, I couldn't play certain games until I hit the age, like Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4. I couldn't play until I was 13 years old. I was 12 years old, with a month away from my birthday. Mom also hates it when she hears a word like "f***" or "s***" on TV. Dude, she said those in front of me once, no kidding. She even called me the N word once!

Also, I can't forget what happened. Like, one time, my mom was so mad at me, I had my hand closed into a fist due to being upset and all, it wasn't raised though. As soon as she saw it, she slapped me so hard, I was bleeding on the inside of my cheek. She saw it, and well...said that's what I get. That's not right.

Also, when dad hit me with the belt, for what reasons?
I took my Nintendo DS to school, the second time though when he thought I was snickering at him. I was not!

I'm crying at the moment as I type. I somewhat hate my life. Since dad thinks it's the computer causing the problems...he said he might just...take it out, and leave it collecting dust...for the rest of my life. That means no more making art for you guys, no more chatting with you guys, no RPing, etc...I would hate to leave you guys, I love you guys as friends! I don't want to leave! I would do what I can to stay in contact with you guys, I would not be the same without you guys...seriously. If you think I'm somewhat crazy...I understand, but...I would miss you so bad, like...someone in my family that's major passed away. I would miss all of you so much...it's undescribable.

Me and my parents are going to talk about this stuff and my punishment. Dad's thinking of sending to a private school next year....maybe. I'll give you guys the info on the school's computer next week. Just...wish me luck that I don't have to leave you guys, I love you guys like family! I don't want to leave...I don't...

Well...take care guys, wish me luck and everything...I hope everything goes for the better...good bye.

Your opinion about this? What should I do?

Paranoia · May 04, 2007 9:09 PM

I'm really sorry to hear that! My parents are also very strict, and me and my sister get it taken away ofen cause they say it's the sorce of the problem. As for your dad...I think he would be the one who needs to see a counseler.

mirror_lion · May 04, 2007 9:24 PM

i know that feels, my step-dad practaly hates me,as for the couseling i agree with DDR_Dragon , i also hope they dont take away ur computer

LoneKnight · May 04, 2007 10:14 PM

Talk to your school counselor. They know what to do. As for the strict parents, there's nothing to do about that - it's life. My parents are hard as hell, but it's something you just have to deal with. My opinion to you, is to just relax and accept what happens. If they take your computer away, just accept it without much objection and give things some time.

Obviously, this whole incident wasn't your fault, but you did contribute to it somewhat. Which is why a counselor WILL listen to your side above all others. The most important thing is to keep yourself cool, complex. DONT lose control to gain attention or to make your point. It just gets you the wrong kind of attention. People sure as hell won't listen if you are hurting yourself or causing a public display. So, just take it easy, and talk to the school guidance counselor.

Zekira Drake · May 04, 2007 11:44 PM

ratchet · May 05, 2007 12:18 AM

Oh my god, i totally agree with you, its like looking in a mirror (except my parents aint as strict and i dont use the f word or s) but i understand what your going through, i suffer from post-depression and its hard, i have friends at my school, but not much, they dont make me laugh and happy like my friends here do, if my computers got taken away i would probably comit suicide SERIOUSLY, cause my friends on here are my councellor, and are the only people that prevent me from commiting suicide

mirror_lion · May 05, 2007 12:18 AM

awkward dream o_O

Zekira Drake · May 05, 2007 2:02 AM

DragonspiritPT · May 05, 2007 12:30 PM

Hell... what can I say. You must have a serious talk with your parents and explain it all, Jay.
With your description they seem to be very rude with you... that I don't understand.
I don't what to say more. I'm feeling really bad inside.

TB · May 05, 2007 4:35 PM

Spyrorocks · May 05, 2007 5:52 PM

if you want my opinion:

Go beat the kid up. Really give him what he has coming. At lest beat him up hard enough to get a out of school suspension so you don't gotta go to school.

Also, the fact that you are 15 will make your feel like everyone hates you, and your parents are turning away from you. Thats how it is when you are 15, when it really in fact isn't like that.

TB · May 05, 2007 5:59 PM

Spyrorocks · May 05, 2007 6:40 PM

Yeah, some parents are horrible, but thats when Social Services come in to play smile

TB · May 05, 2007 8:06 PM

Note ratchet and anybody else that feels like that:
Never commit suicide, man. It's not worth your life for it. I have always found ways to feel better whe i have felt depressed.

Cynder is cute · May 05, 2007 9:43 PM

:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( I'm.......very sorry to hear that. that makes me hurt. :'( I have great parents, they never hit me with a belt or call me names. I am very sorry, my family like my cousins have hurtful parents, they are bitter. My dad's mom always hit him with pots or belts. My mom's dad was always a *bleep* ****. :'( Yes, lots of people have bad parents, its not that your 15, Jay, any age parents can be like that. :'( My dad's dad killed himself when my dad was 10. sad I had a unnicegrandad. :'( :'( :'( I am sorry, i don't know what advice i have but pray to God. Good bye. sad :'(

KingPlayerPDX · May 05, 2007 10:05 PM

You said a** in your typing. Anyways i feel sorry for ya.

Cynder is cute · May 05, 2007 10:40 PM

I put

**** because i did not know if it would be offencive or not. It just means jack *bleep* related. B O T

TB · May 05, 2007 10:45 PM

This is getting off topic.

Farewell to Jay Tanoshi and may he settle this peacefully with his parents.

DanteAndVergil · May 05, 2007 10:46 PM

yes lets hope that he does

KingPlayerPDX · May 05, 2007 10:47 PM

Yeah so long Jay Tonoshi

TB · May 05, 2007 11:32 PM

May his parents treat him kindly once this is over and may Jay go on to live a good life. I sure hope we all do.

ratchet · May 05, 2007 11:33 PM

TB · May 05, 2007 11:35 PM

Spyrorocks · May 06, 2007 12:44 AM

DanteAndVergil · May 06, 2007 12:45 AM

mhmm very true but sometimes it has unwanted affects

#1 May 04, 2007 8:38 PM

Today...might've been the worst day...

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