Jokes!

GLYgames · Dec 13, 2011 6:20 PM

This page is for jokes! I have quite a few...

How do you make a chicken roll? Push it down a hill!
What's Pink and fluffy? Pink fluff!
What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!
What do you call a monkey in a mine field? A Baboom!
What's green and looks like a bucket? A green bucket!

Add your own! smile

Clock-la · Dec 13, 2011 7:00 PM

I'd post some.

but story WILL ban me for them.

Hwd45 · Dec 13, 2011 7:28 PM

Does anyone get these jokes?

I'm a quantum physicist, but only when I'm not being observed.

The barman says 'Sorry, we don't serve faster than light neutrinos'.
A neutrino walks into a bar.

The proton said to the electron 'Why so negative?'

Two particles have an argument. The neutron decides not to pick sides and insists on remaining neutral.

And, a non-physics related joke (sorry, it's and anti-joke, and it's rather rude. Only open the spoiler bar if you really want.)

How do you make a plumber sad?

▼Hidden text

GLYgames · Dec 13, 2011 10:01 PM

Hwd45 wrote:

Does anyone get these jokes?
I'm a quantum physicist, but only when I'm not being observed.
The barman says 'Sorry, we don't serve faster than light neutrinos'.
A neutrino walks into a bar.
The proton said to the electron 'Why so negative?'
Two particles have an argument. The neutron decides not to pick sides and insists on remaining neutral.
And, a non-physics related joke (sorry, it's and anti-joke, and it's rather rude. Only open the spoiler bar if you really want.)
How do you make a plumber sad?
▼Hidden text
Kill his family

Lol! I liked the last one!!!! I have some... 'naughty' jokes but I can't really say them on here!

Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To see his flatmate

Neotyguy40 · Dec 14, 2011 1:12 AM

So a baby seal walks into a club...

jmacguire · Dec 14, 2011 6:12 AM

hey Hwd45, that is a nice joke. ha ha ha....

Hwd45 · Dec 14, 2011 4:27 PM

I have some more anti-jokes:

How do you make a baby stop crying?

▼Hidden text

What do you call Bob the Builder when he's not working?

▼Hidden text

Why did Susie fall off the swings?

▼Hidden text

What do you call a Jewish man flying a plane?

▼Hidden text

What's worse than a half eaten worm in an apple?

▼Hidden text

Clock-la · Dec 14, 2011 4:59 PM

Topic funny percent: 0%

Thanks for killing christmas.

GLYgames · Dec 14, 2011 9:05 PM

Clock-la wrote:

Topic funny percent: 0%
Thanks for killing christmas.

I agree they were a bit harsh! But still funny wink

Clock-la · Dec 14, 2011 10:06 PM

Im not saying there harsh.

Im saying there not funny.

lern to see the obvious.

Hwd45 · Dec 14, 2011 10:51 PM

Clock-la wrote:

Im not saying there harsh.
Im saying there not funny.
lern to see the obvious.

I think if we're talking about anti-jokes then seeing the obvious is something we can already do. Don't tell people to 'see the obvious' just because you lack a sense of humour. I'm guessing you're just one of those people who only finds good jokes funny. I find most jokes funny, regardless of how crap they may be.

GLYgames · Dec 14, 2011 11:01 PM

Clock-la wrote:

Im not saying there harsh.
Im saying there not funny.
lern to see the obvious.

Wow, telling me to "lern" First of all learn to spell LEARN before using it! And I thought they were funny, ure just a sad guy who doesn't have a sense of humour!

bane dragon · Dec 14, 2011 11:24 PM

GLYgames wrote:

Clock-la wrote:
Im not saying there harsh.
Im saying there not funny.
lern to see the obvious.
Wow, telling me to "lern" First of all learn to spell LEARN before using it! And I thought they were funny, ure just a sad guy who doesn't have a sense of humour!

GLY, first of all, someone who spells "you're" as "ure" has no right to complain when someone forgets an a in learn. Second, I agree with Clock-la. The jokes just aren't funny. They're bad attempts at shock humor at best that only people expecting a good joke would laugh at.

Clock-la · Dec 14, 2011 11:33 PM

GLYgames wrote:

Clock-la wrote:
Im not saying there harsh.
Im saying there not funny.
lern to see the obvious.
Wow, telling me to "lern" First of all learn to spell LEARN before using it! And I thought they were funny, ure just a sad guy who doesn't have a sense of humour!

merry christmas to you to! Belt up!

Hwd45 wrote:

Clock-la wrote:
Im not saying there harsh.
Im saying there not funny.
lern to see the obvious.
I think if we're talking about anti-jokes then seeing the obvious is something we can already do. Don't tell people to 'see the obvious' just because you lack a sense of humour. I'm guessing you're just one of those people who only finds good jokes funny. I find most jokes funny, regardless of how crap they may be.

perdon but do you know me? nope you don't. I do fine alot of stupid jokes funny, today I was wetting myself at What has a bottom on top? A toilet for like 15 minuets, it dos'nt mean I have a set sence of humor you can pick out from one post on a forum thats only been posted due to one set of jokes I find unfunny.

Hwd45 · Dec 14, 2011 11:39 PM

Sure, the jokes aren't hilarious, and would only been seen as funny to this with A specific sense of humour, but really, 'Learn to see the obvious'? Come on now, they're just a few jokes, nothing to get angry about.

Clock-la · Dec 14, 2011 11:41 PM

I never got angry, the fact you're assuming im going to be kicking up a fuss over saying "lern to see the obvious" is realy silly, you're over analying a sentance I was basicly telling him not to go about changing what I was saying around.

Hwd45 · Dec 14, 2011 11:44 PM

Clock-la wrote:

perdon but do you know me? nope you don't. I do fine alot of stupid jokes funny, today I was wetting myself at What has a bottom on top? A toilet for like 15 minuets, it dos'nt mean I have a set sence of humor you can pick out from one post on a forum thats only been posted due to one set of jokes I find unfunny.

Excuse me?! I was trying to reason with you and I was merely asking whether you enjoy more serious jokes than anti-jokes. Note that I said 'I'm guessing' and I only picked out this assumption because you seemed adamant that your opinion was correct that they weren't funny jokes. Seriously, chill out, I'm not trying to insult you, you're only making this worse.

Hwd45 · Dec 14, 2011 11:45 PM

Clock-la wrote:

I never got angry, the fact you're assuming im going to be kicking up a fuss over saying "lern to see the obvious" is realy silly, you're over analying a sentance I was basicly telling him not to go about changing what I was saying around.

Well you seemed angry to me. In fact, you seem angry now!

Clock-la · Dec 14, 2011 11:45 PM

Right im nipping this in the bud now STFU and join together!

I mean realy new members why start arguments during christmas, its realy quite shocking O:)

Hwd45 · Dec 14, 2011 11:49 PM

Clock-la wrote:

I mean realy new members why start arguments during christmas, its realy quite shocking O:)

The fact that it's Christmas is irrelevant. As much as I'd like to sweep the situation under the rug, I don't think that it is fair to say that we started the argument. No offence.

Clock-la · Dec 14, 2011 11:50 PM

Its called a joke, considering were in a joke topic i would of thought you'd of gotten that one. No offence. roll

Hwd45 · Dec 14, 2011 11:56 PM

Clock-la wrote:

Its called a joke, considering were in a joke topic i would of thought you'd of gotten that one. No offence.

Sorry, I'm just making things worse. Ignore me.

I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg!

Aceedwin · Dec 14, 2011 11:58 PM

Wow, as far as I can remember (all of twenty minutes) this is the fastest I've seen a tiny misunderstanding grow into a huge petty girth, violating the metaphorical crevices of all common sense.
It seems the laws of the internet took over, as everyone tried to get a slice of that sweet, delectable internet-credibility. Via this sudden explosion of snapping and tirades, this topic's humour factor has grown exponentially.

The fun has been doubled indeed. Wow, tired me uses such an excessive, flamboyant linguistical style. I should sleep less.

I have a favourite joke, but it involves a baby and a sex doll, so I'll give you a German joke instead.

A man goes hunting for ducks. He sees one, and fires, his bullet going past the duck a meter to the left. The duck is presumably catatonic, as the man is able to have another go, and fires again, this time shooting a meter to the right. He then puts his rifle away and strolls off.
His friend asks him, "Why are you leaving without a hit?"
The man replies, "Well, on average, the duck is dead."

Oh German humour, you so deranged.

Clock-la · Dec 14, 2011 11:58 PM

O-o I had a dream my cat pooped in my room, turned out she did -_-

then last night my shelf fell down with all my dvd's and books im now clering the mess up The punch line? I have a flipping TONNE of DVD's sad

Hwd45 · Dec 15, 2011 12:03 AM

I picked up a 99p copy of Avatar the other day.

Compared to the 1080p version, the quality is atrocious.

#1 Dec 13, 2011 6:20 PM

Jokes!

#2 Dec 13, 2011 7:00 PM

Re: Jokes!

#3 Dec 13, 2011 7:28 PM

Re: Jokes!

#4 Dec 13, 2011 10:01 PM

Re: Jokes!

#5 Dec 14, 2011 1:12 AM

Re: Jokes!

#6 Dec 14, 2011 6:12 AM

Re: Jokes!

#7 Dec 14, 2011 4:27 PM

Re: Jokes!

#8 Dec 14, 2011 4:59 PM

Re: Jokes!

#9 Dec 14, 2011 9:05 PM

Re: Jokes!

#10 Dec 14, 2011 10:06 PM

Re: Jokes!

#11 Dec 14, 2011 10:51 PM

Re: Jokes!

#12 Dec 14, 2011 11:01 PM

Re: Jokes!

#13 Dec 14, 2011 11:24 PM

Re: Jokes!

#14 Dec 14, 2011 11:33 PM

Re: Jokes!

#15 Dec 14, 2011 11:39 PM

Re: Jokes!

#16 Dec 14, 2011 11:41 PM

Re: Jokes!

#17 Dec 14, 2011 11:44 PM

Re: Jokes!

#18 Dec 14, 2011 11:45 PM

Re: Jokes!

#19 Dec 14, 2011 11:45 PM

Re: Jokes!

#20 Dec 14, 2011 11:49 PM

Re: Jokes!

#21 Dec 14, 2011 11:50 PM

Re: Jokes!

#22 Dec 14, 2011 11:56 PM

Re: Jokes!

#23 Dec 14, 2011 11:58 PM

Re: Jokes!

#24 Dec 14, 2011 11:58 PM

Re: Jokes!

#25 Dec 15, 2011 12:03 AM

Re: Jokes!

Board footer