the laughing dragon! (great jokes on one great forum!)

THEKIDWITHAKNIFE. · Nov 19, 2010 3:08 PM

Yo mama's so fat her blood type is pasta sauce.
yo mama's so short you can see her feet on her drivers license.
yo mama's so blind she has to wear glasses so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he would rather be Grilled than Fried!

Uh....That's all I have for now.

riverhippo · Nov 19, 2010 3:43 PM

THEKIDWITHAKNIFE. wrote:

Yo mama's so fat her blood type is pasta sauce.
yo mama's so short you can see her feet on her drivers license.
yo mama's so blind she has to wear glasses so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he would rather be Grilled than Fried!
Uh....That's all I have for now.

Yo mama so fat, not even Jesus could lift her spirit.

Clock-la · Nov 19, 2010 5:10 PM

I got a few sexist jokes XD

Why do woman have small feet?

so the can be closer to the sink

why can't women drive?

Because theres no road from the bed room to the kitchan

what do you do when the diswasher stopes working?

slap her.

there awfull saxist but i lol'd at them tongue

THEKIDWITHAKNIFE. · Nov 19, 2010 8:49 PM

Yup... nothin better than racism...lol

Ok...here is a good long one... It's way better If I could do this in person but I'll try my best to narrate!

Ok, so there were 3 dudes, a scottish guy, a chink, and a pollock, and they were all traveling together. It was real rainy and the river they had to cross was flooded and had washed out the bridge. As they were trying to find a way to cross they came across a Native American dude. The scott walked up to him and asked "Hey do you know how to get across this river!?" The Indian turned to him and said "I can make You a boat but you must fight me first!" So the scottish guy agreed and the indian said "You must choose a weapon!" The scottish guy replied "Yeah I got me a weapon" and he pulled out a chain gun. The indian pulled out his buck knife and yelled as the scottish dude unloaded at him. The skilled indian dodged the spray of bullets and threw his knife into the neck of the scottish dude. It killed him and he fell to the ground. The indian then walked over to the corpse and skinned it and turned the scottish guy into a boat as the others watched. He sent the creepy human boat across the river. The Chink then stepped forward and said "I will avenge my brother!" The indian then said "Choose your weapon" The chink ripped out his samuri sword and bravely charged the indian but the indian was too fast and he stabbed the chink in the heart with his knife. He then skinned the chink and turned him into a boat and sent him across the river. The Indian said to the pollock "With you I will get across the river... now choose your weapon!" The Pollock didn't have any weapons so he refused to fight. The indian said "you must fight! I have many weapons you may use." So the pollock thought about it for a moment and made up his mind. He then said "Gimme a fork!!!" The indian said "What!?" ,"YOU HEARD ME! NOW GIVE ME A FORK!!!" ,"Uh...a fork!?" "YEAH! Hand it over" So the indian pulled out a fork and handed it to the pollock. The pollock looked at the fork and stood there. The indian didn't know what the heck to think and just stared at him. All of a sudden the pollock began to stab himself violently and Yelled: "I HOPE YOUR BOAT SINKS!!!!"

riverhippo · Nov 19, 2010 8:58 PM

What is forever?

*** Dramatic Pause ****

Four blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

malik_the_dragon · Nov 19, 2010 10:09 PM

oh wow! close competition!...i will come up with a winner tomorrow at.... um i dont know maybe 12:00 am PT on saturday? hope you guys think quick ! i will show my top three choices with votes from my audience:

1. THAKIDWITHAKNIFE
2. clock-la and in the third spot is.....
3> riverhippo with the "yo mamma joke"!!

congrats and keep posting or one of these people may get it!

riverhippo · Nov 20, 2010 5:00 AM

malik_the_dragon wrote:

oh wow! close competition!...i will come up with a winner tomorrow at.... um i dont know maybe 12:00 am PT on saturday? hope you guys think quick ! i will show my top three choices with votes from my audience:
1. THAKIDWITHAKNIFE
2. clock-la and in the third spot is.....
3> riverhippo with the "yo mamma joke"!!
congrats and keep posting or one of these people may get it!

Oh it s a contest?!? well...

Yo mama so fat that when she wore a beeper and it went off, people thought she was backing up.

Yo mama is so old that when God said, "Let there be light," she flipped the switch.

Yo mama so fat that when she goes to a restaurant and reads the menu she says, "OK."

Yo mama so stupid she failed a blood test.

Yo mama so fat I had to take 5 plane trips, 3 train rides, and 4 bus routes to get on her "good" side.

Also,

Did you know that Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin he built with his own two hands?

Clock-la · Nov 20, 2010 11:00 AM

A welsh man a scottish man and an irish man walk into a bar and the barman says "get the f*** out"

lulz there is the more racist vertion but i thought best not poast that one XD

Swaffy · Nov 20, 2010 6:24 PM

malik_the_dragon · Nov 20, 2010 6:51 PM

*busted out laughing from riverhippos joke* okay its 1:46 and i wil wait a little bit more for others to post but my top two are
clock-la and riverhippo! some thanksgiving jokes would be nice though, the yo mamma so fat seems a little similar. read the edit on the first post to figure out what is up for grabs! come on guys, catch up!

Clock-la · Nov 20, 2010 8:11 PM

So, a guy walks into a shop yeah, looking to buy a Wii:

Guy: I'd like a Wii, please
Shopkeeper: The bathroom's over there

If a PS3 falls off the over stuffed shelf and nobody is around waiting to buy it does it still make a sound?

Woman walks into Curry's "Could I have one of those new Dyson bag-less vacuum cleaners please?" Assistant "I'm sorry madam but we are all out of Dyson's at the moment; can I interest you in a next generation console madam, they're excellent for collecting dust."

Why was the panda upset by its Ps3

CAZ Ps3 HAZ NO GAMES!!!

An Xbox 360 walks into a bar and breaks
it was a gay a bar and it got to hot.

A man walks into a shop and buys a Wii. biggest joke there is.

Swaffy · Nov 21, 2010 7:21 PM

Heheh. That's funny.

Dragon122 · Nov 21, 2010 7:26 PM

I haven't got a chance to tell jokes because of my website construction.

Anyway, back on topic, I know a lot of Russian Reversals (know what I mean).

In Soviet Russia, jokes get YOU!!

Swaffy · Nov 21, 2010 7:57 PM

Dragon122 · Nov 21, 2010 8:11 PM

In Soviet Russia, car drives YOU!!

In Soviet Russia, shirt wears YOU!!

In Soviet Russia, MP3s listens to YOU!!

In Soviet Russia, Computer research YOU!!

Swaffy · Nov 22, 2010 3:48 AM

So, according to your Soviet Russia jokes [which I like],
...

In Soviet Russia, guns shoot people at other guns.
In Soviet Russia, Infinity counted to Chuch Norris ... twice.
In Soviet Russia, Shoes tie you.
In Soviet Russia, you eat your fork using your waffle.

In Soviet Russia, fire breathes Spyro.

[hr:27cf2d1319]
Now I get where you're going with this.

riverhippo · Nov 22, 2010 7:34 AM

Swaffy wrote:

So, according to your Soviet Russia jokes [which I like],
...
In Soviet Russia, guns shoot people at other guns.
In Soviet Russia, Infinity counted to Chuch Norris ... twice.
In Soviet Russia, Shoes tie you.
In Soviet Russia, you eat your fork using your waffle.
In Soviet Russia, fire breathes Spyro.
[hr:673bf8a375]
Now I get where you're going with this.

It's funnier when it applies to the differences between American Society vs. Russian Society, which it was made for by comedian Yakov Smirnoff. (VIDEO)

In America, You assassinate the president.

In Soviet Russia, the president assassinate you!!

PoisoningOrchid · Nov 28, 2010 9:38 PM

Cyril was sitting near the temple, very sad. "Why so blue?" Volteer asked.

cooldude22345 · Nov 29, 2010 12:45 AM

How can you tell a snowman from a snow-woman?

... ... ... ...
... ... ... ...

SNOWMEN HAVE SNOWBALLS! AHAHAHAH LOLOCOPTER FWAAAGGGHHHH IMCHOKING BALKSDFAWIONFO

Dragon122 · Nov 29, 2010 12:51 AM

In Soviet Russia, Google googles YOU!!

Clock-la · Nov 29, 2010 8:43 AM

malik_the_dragon · Dec 04, 2010 7:52 PM

okay, sorry for the long vacation guys! i flew to the dragon isle and saw that spyro needed some help and my winner for the contest is
.
..
...
....

RIVERHIPPO, cause no one could do it better than a dude like him! okay next one up is the christmas jokes, winner gets... 1700 gems.

THANX to R.V. and may the best poster wins!

Latias fan · Dec 04, 2010 8:07 PM

When santa says Ho Ho Ho

Tiger woods goes Where Where Where?

malik_the_dragon · Dec 04, 2010 9:00 PM

love it! send more!!

JazzJackrabbit · Dec 04, 2010 10:07 PM

Rudolph and Pinocchio had a love-child.

And that is where Glow Sticks come from.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In Free-Market America, You watch Big Brother.

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