The Darwin Awards

Apoc · Dec 16, 2009 1:37 PM

For those who have stories about people killing themselves in daft and funny ways, please post them here.

Here's a rather strange one.

There's this guy(the name escapes me) he's a loner, never had a girlfriend, EVER, not even a *bleep*. So he bought magazines and just read those instead. He read in one article saying that if you hook a cow's heart to a car battery it can be used as a good sex t..........Sorry, WHAT??? What kind of sick b@stard wakes up and says I'm going to stick jump cables on a cow's heart whilst the cables are hooked onto a car battery? Then writes about it? Who performs these experiments? F**king hell! Anyway, so he does this and he gets busy and decides, maybe I should turn up the voltage(Which in turn turns up the amperage, which is the thing that kills you. Volts don't kill amps do) so he attaches it to his wall socket and gets busy, what happens next? He dies, the current travels up his crotch and into his heart(ew). What have we learned here? Do be a sad shack and shag a cow's heart, get a life idiot boy!

Phoenix_Flyer · Dec 16, 2009 11:10 PM

I remember reading about something recently where some guy in China was holding up traffic because he was stood on a bridge and threatening to jump.
What happened you ask? Well, some other guy went up to him and shook his hand before pushing the man off of the bridge. I don't know if he died or not, guessing he did. The man who pushed the suicidal bloke said something like this afterwards:

"Men like that are idiots, they are only interested in disrupting the usual rhythm of social life and preventing other people from getting along with things so they can get attention; most of them wouldn't actually dare kill themselves."

I thought the guy rocked and I agree with him in a way, though I would never actually dare say what he did, never mind actually do it.

Apoc · Dec 16, 2009 11:16 PM

Lol.

(November 2009, Poughkeepsie, New York) Eyewitness Account: "I was driving down the road when the car in front of me suddenly accelerated, then stopped accelerating but continued going straight as the road curved, ultimately crashing into a rail. I pulled over to help, and asked the driver what caused the crash. He told me that the Cha Cha Slide was playing on the radio and he was dancing along. When the lyrics came to "Left foot, Left stomp," he did just that, flooring the accelerator. Then it said "Freeze" and he froze, and then, "Everybody clap your hands," at which point he crashed.

3463 · Dec 17, 2009 4:19 AM

deleted

Apoc · Dec 17, 2009 3:36 PM

Doesn't matter, just post 'em

#1 Dec 16, 2009 1:37 PM

The Darwin Awards

#2 Dec 16, 2009 11:10 PM

Re: The Darwin Awards

#3 Dec 16, 2009 11:16 PM

Re: The Darwin Awards

#4 Dec 17, 2009 4:19 AM

Re: The Darwin Awards

#5 Dec 17, 2009 3:36 PM

Re: The Darwin Awards

Board footer