danger is everywhere, a Spyro and Cynder tragedy

Spyro man 123 · Mar 25, 2009 7:52 AM

Cynder had learned how to make a platform of wind, so she and spyro went to try it out. They flew to the great Canyon to test it. Cynder got ready, wind appeared around her feet the she relaxed a platform of wind was there.
"Are you sure this is good idea?" spyro asked
"I'm pretty sure, now get on." Cynder said with a smile.
Spyro sighed and stepped on. He looked scared.
"I think I can make it move." Cynder whispered
"What?" spyro asked
"Nothing." Cynder said leaning forward. The platform shook the wiz off. Spyro tried to open his eyes but the wind was too strong, but Cynder enjoyed it so she controlled it to do what ever she wanted, but she was going to fast. Spyro just opened his eyes.
"Cynder cliff" Spyro said
Cynder turned "what?" she yelled
"CLIFF!!" yelled back to her. Cynder looked up, she flinched. They hit the cliff. The sound of body on rock filled the canyon. Everything was black.

Spyro tried to open his eyes they wouldn't open. He put a paw on his eyes, he felt cuts in them. He knew he was blind. He staggered forward.
"Cynder" he said worriedly. There was no answer
He felt around the stones around him.
"Cynder" he yelled.
"Over here" a weak voice said. Spyro felt his way over. Then he felt Cynder.
"Cynder lets go back." he whispered to her.
"You are going to go back I can't" she replied weakly.
"Why?"
"I'm to badly wounded." she whispered. Spyro felt down Cynders body, then he felt something, he felt up it.
"No, no" he muttered.
"You can't save me from this." She whispered.
"I can try? I saved you from dark master in the Convexity and when you went dark." spyro whispered to her.
"If you want to make me happy before I died,”
"Yes what?"
"kiss me, one last time."
Spyro slow went mouth and the kissed with a passion only given when some on his near death. Slowly went back to his normal stance.
"Thank you, live out your live do it for me." Cynder said then her head fell back and her body went limp. Spyro cried over the body of his love.

5 Years Later.

Spyro walked along a path, his eyesight wasn't getting better but his other senses were so he used those to feel about the place. He was walking into a garden full of flowers and life. He could feel it. He smiled. He walked pass those things and went to the statue. Cynder's statue. He put a flower on it and bowed to it. He read the plaque on the staute.
Love is an Eternal, but life is short.
But the bonds will keep us together,
forever.
He let a tear dip from his face.
"Cynder I will always love you." he said then he left the garden.

tell me what you think. I did this when i had 20 mins after waking up.

DragonOfDrakness1992 · Mar 25, 2009 7:11 PM

"love is an Eternal, but life is short.
But the bonds will keep us together,
forever."

Beautiful poem... and a sad story...
Nice done dude... *Sniff* I'm not crying... *Sniff*

Spyro man 123 · Mar 25, 2009 7:26 PM

Thank I write that when i was bored, but i know some on is going to say it sucks, its not the best but is alright. smile

DragonOfDrakness1992 · Mar 25, 2009 7:31 PM

I may admit that it isn't the best story ^^''
But so what? Mine stories isn't the best either...
This story made me cry a little and that was good...
I don't know whay but I like the sad stories hmm and that's odd...

Spyro.Lover.Forever · Mar 25, 2009 11:43 PM

It's good. You better hope grevious doesn't see this tongue

Spyro man 123 · Mar 26, 2009 6:59 AM

people keep saying that but why??

~cornys~ · Apr 25, 2009 8:44 PM

It's great Flash Fiction... here's one of my typical Reviews... anything bad is minor By the Way... just trying to help...
(People get mad some times at me for this but here it goes.)

The Good

-High Emotion
-Tradgedy (rare among Fan Fictions that I read)
-Short (good if short on time)
-Writen in the morning (when you write in the morning you write clearer and without bias or emotion other than that of the writing there for you can better get into it)

The Bad

-Run on Senteces (mostly in the slow beginning)
-Short (lol I know it's both a plus and minus. (not time to build emotion in this case))
-Anti-climatic (Cynder dies rather quickly and randomly... common and very over lookable in this case doesn't much matter in the end)
-Grammer (besides run on sentences you also failed to Capitalize a few things... extremly normal... me too)
-Show more (Don't tell us exactly what happed tell us something that can figure out what happened... sort of hard to do... just something that you'll have to work on if you want to get serious about writing.. other wise don't much worry about it... but I'd still try a little... stop rambling me! smile )

Overall

I loved it. Started a little too slow for flash fiction and I thought that I might be reading a One Shot Short Story. quickly got into emotion though and shaped up very nicely... nice job! smile

random · Aug 13, 2009 4:50 PM

ROAR HOW COULD YOU KILL-OFF CYNDER SHEHAS HAD A HARD ENOUGH LIFE AS IT IS. guh people make Cynder die but they never make that (censored) Ember suffer.

DragonOfDrakness1992 · Aug 13, 2009 8:07 PM

FANTARD!

Hey random try to relax... it is just a fanfic and don't dare to talk bad about anyone, even Ember even if she can be really annoying.
None of us wants to hear hatred by somebody like you

Besides the story is great! try next time to comment what you read and not what your feelings are becuase we all actually DON'T CARE!

Kmn483 · Aug 17, 2009 6:29 PM

cool, i love sad endings! as long as it is by being broken up, and there is a choice to stay together, I hate that!

cynderfan · Aug 20, 2009 7:09 AM

Well look at the reply he gave when I did something like this:

grievous16 wrote:

:'( OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU POST A STORY ABOUT CYNDER'S DEATH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? *BLEEP* YOU!!!!! *BLEEP YOU TO *BLEEP*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >_< (nuke) :explode:

Great story by tha way smile

#1 Mar 25, 2009 7:52 AM

danger is everywhere, a Spyro and Cynder tragedy

#2 Mar 25, 2009 7:11 PM

Re: danger is everywhere, a Spyro and Cynder tragedy

#3 Mar 25, 2009 7:26 PM

Re: danger is everywhere, a Spyro and Cynder tragedy

#4 Mar 25, 2009 7:31 PM

Re: danger is everywhere, a Spyro and Cynder tragedy

#5 Mar 25, 2009 11:43 PM

Re: danger is everywhere, a Spyro and Cynder tragedy

#6 Mar 26, 2009 6:59 AM

Re: danger is everywhere, a Spyro and Cynder tragedy

#7 Apr 25, 2009 8:44 PM

Re: danger is everywhere, a Spyro and Cynder tragedy

#8 Aug 13, 2009 4:50 PM

Re: danger is everywhere, a Spyro and Cynder tragedy

#9 Aug 13, 2009 8:07 PM

Re: danger is everywhere, a Spyro and Cynder tragedy

#10 Aug 17, 2009 6:29 PM

Re: danger is everywhere, a Spyro and Cynder tragedy

#11 Aug 20, 2009 7:09 AM

Re: danger is everywhere, a Spyro and Cynder tragedy

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