Funny Quotes

Sparky4077 · Mar 16, 2009 1:49 AM

Anyone got funny quotes? Put em here.

Heres some...

When life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

If practice makes perfect,but nobodies perfect, why practice?

I beleive you have my stapler.

How you like me to remove your tonsils...through your ear?!

How would like to donate a pient of blood through the nose?

Before you were born, the word "stupidity" was without a definition.

Don't go in the pimped out fridge dude!

RedDragonX · Mar 16, 2009 1:57 AM

Hahaha....well I guess I was waiting for someone to make a topic like this lol....I have a bunch of them....

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all its pupils."

"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thoughts of someone to blame it on."

"Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped."

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come."

"Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery."

"Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too, but if you press the wrong button, you'll be disconnected."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

"Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer."

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing!"

"When there's a will. I want to be in it."

"There are worse things in life then death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"

That's just a couple....0.o

Swaffy · Mar 16, 2009 4:29 AM

"Git 'er done!"

MarioSpyro · Mar 16, 2009 10:10 AM

Oh,no
smile *drops to knees*NOOOOOO!!!
I though I get away from these kinds of quotes on the forum but I can't their following me!!! It's enough that I hear them at school every morning in the annousements, This can't get any worse Curse you Flavio!!! Curse You!!! smile

Sparky4077 · Mar 16, 2009 11:13 PM

MarioSpyro...you have...ISSUES!!!

So now I ask you...will you............................................tie my shoelace?

Swaffy · Mar 16, 2009 11:19 PM

"Only my wife can pull my whammy bar."

This is a wuote from a program called the Silver Ring Thing. There was a
skit they did where four teens [2 dudes, 2 chicks] gave over a hidden
purity message. They used Guitar Hero to act as an example to purity. So
I heard this quote, and laughed.

Sparky4077 · Mar 16, 2009 11:42 PM

Im sure you did laugh Swaffy.Im sure you did...
By the way, feel free to enter your own jokes in here too everyone!
Anything funny makes everone happy!

Did ya'll know that hobbos and pimps started life as lemons and grew into people when the started stalking you?(My own joke)

Swaffy · Mar 17, 2009 2:42 AM

Oh, yes. Many people need happiness to be in their lives.

I have another quote, but it isn't funny. It's about music. [Since I'm
obsessed with music, and my life revolves around it. Almost literally.]

MarioSpyro · Mar 19, 2009 9:24 PM

Na, I was playing around up there I need to practice drama My teacher ask me to practice so I though why not here I still need work on my drama though., huh? smile

Cesna · Mar 20, 2009 4:13 AM

Sparky4077 wrote:

Anyone got funny quotes? Put em here
When life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

Here is the real lemon saying:
When life gives you lemons, you make orange juice and leave everyone wondering how the hell you did it.

MarioSpyro · Mar 20, 2009 2:32 PM

that is one weird quote.
why can't it be limes?

Aceedwin · Mar 20, 2009 5:05 PM

Because nobody really likes limes. Not deep down.

MarioSpyro · Mar 20, 2009 5:23 PM

How about pears or apple even bananas people like those. smile
Oh, great I got myself Hungry. smile

Aceedwin · Mar 20, 2009 5:51 PM

Not bananas, but the other two yes...

"I'm surrounded by idiots..."

My favorite quote for my favorite movie. *hugs scar plushy*

Ghakimx · Mar 20, 2009 5:51 PM

I'll be back....

SpyroGirl101 · Mar 20, 2009 7:00 PM

Nice guys. Keep 'em coming! wink

Swaffy · Mar 21, 2009 1:06 AM

Okay, I'll see if I know any more.

"Wait 'till the fat lady sings."
"What fat lady? There aint no fat women around here."

Sparky4077 · Mar 21, 2009 8:43 PM

Cesna Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 4:13 am Post subject: Re: Funny Quotes
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sparky4077 wrote:
Anyone got funny quotes? Put em here
When life gives you lemons, throw them at people.
Here is the real lemon saying:
When life gives you lemons, you make orange juice and leave everyone wondering how the hell you did it.

nice...very nice.Of coarse you can make orange juice!A lemon is just an orange that knows somebody.

wforcier · Mar 22, 2009 6:58 PM

Here are quotes that I thought were funny.

"All generalizations are false, including this one."
"Don't fool yourself: you are not suspecting the unexpected; you are only suspecting what you suspect to be unsuspected."

Spyro YoTd · Mar 22, 2009 7:30 PM

Sparky4077 wrote:

Anyone got funny quotes? Put em here.
Heres some...
When life gives you lemons, throw them at people.
If practice makes perfect,but nobodies perfect, why practice?
I beleive you have my stapler.
How you like me to remove your tonsils...through your ear?!
How would like to donate a pient of blood through the nose?

Before you were born, the word "stupidity" was without a definition.
Don't go in the pimped out fridge dude!

When life gives you lemons, throw them at people. thats a really funny one my dad always says it to me as im growing and i think its quite a usefull line

Swaffy · Mar 23, 2009 3:14 AM

Almost disturbing.

▼Hidden text

- - -

"Feeling lucky, punk?"

RedDragonX · Mar 23, 2009 3:17 AM

I'm afraid to say that I've heard much much worse.

Swaffy · Mar 23, 2009 3:18 AM

Of course you have, friend. But maybe not those 9 year-olds. : )
Think of the kids!
[Warning: I have not put an exclamation point in any of my
posts in a long time.]

Erza · Mar 23, 2009 5:30 AM

"you aint no jellybean your just bean ,"

my friend got it from somewhere .

RedDragonX · Mar 23, 2009 10:41 PM

"When you're a teenager...you think you can do anything, and you do.......your twenties are a blur........in your thirties, you raise the family, make a little money, then start wondering to yourself.."What happened in my twenties?"....in your forties you grow a little pot belly and you grow another chin. The music starts to get too loud, and one of your old girlfriends from high school becomes a grandmother.....in your fifties you have a minor surgery, you call it a "procedure" but it's a surgery.....in your sixties you have a major surgery the music is still loud but it doesn't matter because you can't hear it anyway.......in your seventies, you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, you start having dinner at one in the afternoon, you have lunch around ten, breakfast the night before, you start wandering around malls looking for the ultimate soft yogurt and muttering to yourself "How come the kids don't call, how come the kids don't call"....in your eighties you have a major stroke, you start babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can't stand but who you call mama............any questions?"

#1 Mar 16, 2009 1:49 AM

Funny Quotes

#2 Mar 16, 2009 1:57 AM

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