Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy

Taco Godess · Mar 25, 2009 3:29 PM

A long, long time ago Toothatina used to have perfect teeth. One morning, she woke up to find all her teeth missing! It turns out she had gotten a rare, unnamed gum disease. Her friends banished her and she spent many long months wandering from town to town.

In one town, she was fluttering by an open window when she saw a boy stick a tooth underneath his pillow! Toothatina then got an idea and took the tooth from under the little child's pillow. When she fitted it into her mouth, she found that it fit perfectly! She got out her wallet and, after digging through her many Capital One cards she collected, she found some cash and left the little boy a dollar.

The next morning, the boy was amazed to find that his tooth had been replaced by cash. His friends were also amazed, so they, too, put their lost teeth under their pillows. From then on Toothatina went from town to town collecting the teeth of lost children, and when she found a tooth she didn't like she simply used it to build her palaces and mid evil torture devices.

THE END

Kazoobie64 · Mar 25, 2009 3:58 PM

This story is a hoax.

Everyone knows Toothatina is the Godmother of an illegal tooth trade happening around the streets of McAlleyville. The teeth involved in this trade are crushed into powder and sold as a drug to a very wealthy but shady group known as the Plaquingtons, because they are deluded characters that for some reason have pleasurable hallucinogenic reactions to tooth powder. It used to be a very dangerous trade where everyone would pull teeth out from the innocent with things like wire strippers, so everyone decided the practice wasn't worth it, because pulling out someone's tooth was impossible to do without getting police attention all over the place.

The trade was declining for a while until Toothatina, coming from a long line of professional illegal tooth traders, said this was bullcrap and concocted a plan. Using her ancestor's infamous psychological torture techniques, she threatened children's parents from all over the world who owed her money. Basically, she said she'd let them off scot free, but in return they must give her all of their childrens' baby teeth. Being the sap that she was when parents begged her not to get their children involved in this ugly atmosphere, she agreed to come and quickly take the teeth at nightfall, when the children were asleep. She asked that the teeth were to be placed under pillows so that she may just come in and help herself, then be out of there before the children even knew she was there.

This method turned out to be very successful for her, as the cops could never predict at what time she would show up to acquire the tooth. Plus, they didn't want to traumatize the sleeping children for life by slamming their doors down in the middle of the night and shouting "Toothatina! You're under arrest!" They figured child psychologists were getting paid enough.

You could almost hear Toothania to this day, wallowing in cash and cackling before getting a call from a crying mother wailing about how her child's tooth is now under the pillow and asking whether she can now be left alone. Toothania will slam down her phone, grab her wax gun, and be on her way with a thumbs up, her last words being: "all in a night's work."

Gosh, Taco, I thought EVERYONE knew this.

Spyro Master · Mar 25, 2009 7:30 PM

THE TOOTH FAIRY ISNT REAL!!!!!!! well not in my opinion anyway XD

ontels · Mar 26, 2009 8:14 PM

lol

Spyro Master · Mar 28, 2009 1:55 PM

lol XD

ontels · Mar 30, 2009 7:03 PM

no u

Spyro Master · Mar 30, 2009 9:47 PM

YOU!!!

Aceedwin · Mar 31, 2009 10:12 AM

Me. roll

Taco Godess · Mar 31, 2009 1:57 PM

Myself.

Aceedwin · Mar 31, 2009 2:56 PM

And I.

Spyro Master · Mar 31, 2009 3:54 PM

GREAT NEWS EVERYONE ITS ME!!!!!!!!

ontels · Mar 31, 2009 7:49 PM

better news I just had a poo

Spyro Master · Mar 31, 2009 9:21 PM

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

Taco Godess · Apr 01, 2009 10:47 PM

Shuddup no moar from u!1!!1!!

Spyro Master · Apr 02, 2009 5:58 PM

WHO??

Taco Godess · Apr 02, 2009 10:25 PM

Spyro Master · Apr 03, 2009 4:39 PM

XD lol UMBRELLAZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ontels · Apr 03, 2009 6:42 PM

Todays letter is H for Homosidall.

Spyro Master · Apr 03, 2009 7:13 PM

You spelt it wrong!!!!!!! lol

Taco Godess · Apr 03, 2009 10:56 PM

I is for my internal waste sack.

Spyro Master · Apr 03, 2009 11:09 PM

S is for Spyro Master is awesome XD

Taco Godess · Apr 03, 2009 11:12 PM

OH, CATABATUS CATABATUS CATABATUS STARTS WITH C! *omnomnomnom*

Spyro Master · Apr 04, 2009 9:29 AM

XD lol catabatus FTW!!!!

ontels · Apr 04, 2009 10:09 AM

what?

Spyro Master · Apr 04, 2009 10:10 AM

ONTELS FTL XD

#1 Mar 25, 2009 3:29 PM

Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy

#2 Mar 25, 2009 3:58 PM

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#3 Mar 25, 2009 7:30 PM

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#4 Mar 26, 2009 8:14 PM

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#5 Mar 28, 2009 1:55 PM

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#6 Mar 30, 2009 7:03 PM

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#7 Mar 30, 2009 9:47 PM

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#8 Mar 31, 2009 10:12 AM

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#9 Mar 31, 2009 1:57 PM

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#10 Mar 31, 2009 2:56 PM

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#11 Mar 31, 2009 3:54 PM

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#12 Mar 31, 2009 7:49 PM

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#13 Mar 31, 2009 9:21 PM

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#14 Apr 01, 2009 10:47 PM

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#15 Apr 02, 2009 5:58 PM

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#16 Apr 02, 2009 10:25 PM

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#17 Apr 03, 2009 4:39 PM

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#18 Apr 03, 2009 6:42 PM

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#19 Apr 03, 2009 7:13 PM

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#20 Apr 03, 2009 10:56 PM

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#21 Apr 03, 2009 11:09 PM

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#22 Apr 03, 2009 11:12 PM

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#23 Apr 04, 2009 9:29 AM

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#24 Apr 04, 2009 10:09 AM

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#25 Apr 04, 2009 10:10 AM

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