Chuck Norris

A Guy · Nov 18, 2008 4:05 AM

Chuck Norris can snipe with a shotgun.

Chuck Norris is forbidden to use a working controller in fighting games to prevent him from having an unfair advantage.

It never rains. Chuck Norris is just drying his wet clothes.

Someone once got a headshot on Chuck Norris, but the bullet broke once it hit his beard.

Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.

Chuck Norris can cut in front of seniors and veterans at the supermarket unchallenged.

There are no droughts - just times when Chuck Norris gets thirsty.

Aicebo · Nov 18, 2008 5:43 AM

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Rurikredwolf · Nov 18, 2008 12:15 PM

Chuck Norris can see why kids love cinimon(Can never spell it) toast crunch.

dragon protector x · Nov 18, 2008 3:33 PM

Have any one you seen the videos on youtube of Chuck Noris in Oblivion? Its funny.

Same with the movie get smart..... Would you beleave 150 Highly trained snipers?
No
How about 200 delt swat agents?
No
Would you take Chuck Norris with a BB gun?
No and good bye...

TornWings · Nov 18, 2008 4:30 PM

If Chuck Norris went back in time and fought himself, he'd win.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets what he wants.

Chuck Norris went sky-diving once, but promised to never do it again. One grand canyon is enough.

John Man 1234 · Nov 18, 2008 8:35 PM

Chuck Norris can buy a car without paying for it.

Fletch_Talon · Nov 18, 2008 9:21 PM

there is no chin underneath chuck norris' beard, just another fist

A Guy · Nov 18, 2008 10:03 PM

Chuck Norris is currently suing the makers of Halo, claiming that they have ripped off of stories of his trips to the park in Kindergarten.

saphira17 · Nov 18, 2008 11:29 PM

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Norris doesn't get wet, wet gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity, twice.

Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

Sora · Nov 19, 2008 12:02 AM

Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie center of a tootsie pop.

Kamineko · Nov 19, 2008 12:33 AM

chuck norris realizes when chuck norris jokes are out of style because everybody has heard them.

Aicebo · Nov 19, 2008 12:38 AM

Atresac wrote:

chuck norris realizes when chuck norris jokes are out of style because everybody has heard them.

Oh my God YES.

bmah · Nov 19, 2008 12:51 AM

Chuck Norris is overrated. Give credit to Bruce Lee, who brought him to kung fu fame.

saphira17 · Nov 19, 2008 1:25 AM

Here's my favorite Chuck Norris quote: "Why is Chuck Norris so cool anyway?" lol I never understood it, but I thought it was neat anyway the way people come up with this stuff. And I don't think I've heard half of the sayings that are out there about Chuck Norris. Here's one if you're anti-norris: Bauer, Bond, and Norris together couldn't touch Jason Bourne. I prefer Bourne, but w/e.

A Guy · Nov 19, 2008 9:26 PM

Chuck Norris can beat a fish in an underwater breathing contest.

Chuck Norris always wins every election. Other candidates are just chosen to run in his place.

People fear the end of the world on December 21, 2012, because that is when Chuck Norris is predicted to become bored of humanity.

Martial Arts Spyro · Nov 19, 2008 9:45 PM

uhh, I already made a thread like this.

John Man 1234 · Nov 19, 2008 9:49 PM

Chuck Norris was the one who thought Captain Falcon how to drive and fight.
A bear tried to eat Chuck Norris and he tamed it and it's now his pet.

Fletch_Talon · Nov 20, 2008 12:47 AM

some games have a "chuck norris" difficulty level, it involves blindfolds a straight jacket and genital clamps, chuck norris is the only man who could beat a game on "chuck norris" except chuck norris doesnt play games

A Guy · Nov 20, 2008 12:58 AM

Fletch_Talon wrote:

some games have a "chuck norris" difficulty level, it involves blindfolds a straight jacket and genital clamps, chuck norris is the only man who could beat a game on "chuck norris" except chuck norris doesnt play games

Hey, I haven't heard that one before. It's quite good, as well.

Fletch_Talon · Nov 21, 2008 1:06 AM

A Guy wrote:

Fletch_Talon wrote:
some games have a "chuck norris" difficulty level, it involves blindfolds a straight jacket and genital clamps, chuck norris is the only man who could beat a game on "chuck norris" except chuck norris doesnt play games
Hey, I haven't heard that one before. It's quite good, as well.

thanks, i kinda just made it up, though its possible i was influenced by a similar joke, im not sure since ive read a lot of chuck norris jokes

i also like soviet russia jokes (russian reversals)

in soviet russia norris chucks YOU!

A Guy · Nov 21, 2008 1:25 AM

When Chuck Norris walks, he doesn't move, the Earth rolls in the opposite direction.

EclipsedMoon99 · Nov 25, 2008 1:49 AM

Curses, here I was thinking I'd make this topic...

Well, I've read every single Chuck Norris that I can find...

ontels · Nov 28, 2008 5:02 PM

chuck noriss dosent carry guns for pretection guns carry chuck norris for protection

John Man 1234 · Nov 28, 2008 9:48 PM

Chuck Norris was the one who taught Captain Falcon the Falcon Punch.

ontels · Dec 04, 2008 10:17 AM

chuck norris kicks *bleep* intill the cows come home......then he kicks there *bleep*'s

#1 Nov 18, 2008 4:05 AM

Chuck Norris

#2 Nov 18, 2008 5:43 AM

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#3 Nov 18, 2008 12:15 PM

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#4 Nov 18, 2008 3:33 PM

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#5 Nov 18, 2008 4:30 PM

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#6 Nov 18, 2008 8:35 PM

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#7 Nov 18, 2008 9:21 PM

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#8 Nov 18, 2008 10:03 PM

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#9 Nov 18, 2008 11:29 PM

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#10 Nov 19, 2008 12:02 AM

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#11 Nov 19, 2008 12:33 AM

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#12 Nov 19, 2008 12:38 AM

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#18 Nov 20, 2008 12:47 AM

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#23 Nov 28, 2008 5:02 PM

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#24 Nov 28, 2008 9:48 PM

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#25 Dec 04, 2008 10:17 AM

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