This summer has really bummed me out

gobgawp · Jul 28, 2008 9:48 PM

I'm being emo here, so bear with me. And I'm not sure if this is the place to post it, or if its allowed, and if it isn't, I apologize.

See, the entire year I was looking forward to this summer, because this was the summer where I'd start working again, only for a longer period of time. The whole time I was planning on buying a smaller bed for more space to do things, a new desk, clothes and a laptop. I was *bleep*ing with joy, looking forward to working in the summer again, and I kept telling myself "this time, I'm KEEPING it! I can feel it" over and over again.

I was so sure this was gonna be the summer where I can finally take responsibility and mature through minimum wage work, instead, not once did I ever have a chance to leave, because there was something more important. I waited, this important thing never got resolved, and instead it led to more problems (for my parents). I kept waiting, then days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into a month and thats when I FINALLY got to fill in several job applications, only to receive no call from any of the managers. This lead me to crying on a daily basis about how useless I am, and how much of a disappointment this summer turned out to be, then later on started bawling about how we have no money, how I have no friends, how I have no social life, and how much of a baby I am for sobbing about it.

I try being optimistic about it, but everyone I know has something to do. Vacations, friends, jobs, college, etc, and I'm stuck here hearing two brats screaming into my ears, trying not to be so pessimistic. But now I see that money is so ridiculously tight, its making me want to work again, which again leads me to hating myself about being sad about it again.

The only thing I can do to keep myself busy without using the computer is to clean the shower, which oddly enough, I like, but even thats some sort of issue with my dad. This boredom/sadness made me desperate and furious, so I spent the day crying like a baby again about how we have nothing good going on, we're gonna be evicted and theres nothing we can do about it because the only person who does the closest thing to "working" is a deadbeat, and I go on about how I'm losing hope in everything, which stresses out whoever I'm talking to, which AGAIN makes me feel bad.

To make matters worse for me, I know things could be worse, but I keep seeing that things WILL get worse, so I ignore it whenever anybody tells me that, and continue thinking everything is horrible, everything will get worse, and that I'm a stupid little whiner. There's just no winning.

That's all I wanted to write. I really just felt like venting without worrying about anyone calling me an emo $!#$ and joking about it.

Cyro87 · Jul 29, 2008 2:20 AM

I know if I say don't worry, it won't help so I won't say don't worry. If you are losing hope, maybe you could borrow a loan from the bank? That might keep you in your house. And I know what you mean about cleaning the shower. I love cleaning my hamster's cage, which is somewhat like cleaning a shower, so yeah. I enjoy seeing the end result, It's so rewarding big_smile

Fletch_Talon · Jul 29, 2008 3:58 AM

If youre desperate, try labouring

I know its probably not what youd like to do, and Im not trying to be sexist but its not the best atmosphere for a female

however, provided you can lift some stuff and work hard then you should be able to get a job, and the pay is amzingly good (thats the case here in australia anyway)

and dont get upset that you havnt got a job, im 19 and ive worked 4 jobs, 2 i only got because my dad and then my stepdad got them for me, 1 of those 2 i stayed in for less than a week

right now i have to apply for 8 jobs every fortnight (to recieve welfare payment type things) and over the last 4 fortnights or so, ive really heard back from maybe 3

dont stress, just keep trying

also, i advise you to focus on getting your life in order and not worry over the rest of your family, i know you care about them etc. but youre getting to the age where you may soon feel the need to leave the nest so to speak, you need to give yourself a good beginning

dragon protector x · Jul 29, 2008 4:42 AM

Tell me about it...i bearly got to do anything because i got a job and was working like almost a full time job...

raven · Jul 29, 2008 5:29 AM

Hey Gobgawp smile

Feeling the way you are at the moment isnâ€™t necessarily an emo thing. Everyone feels despair and hopelessness at some point in time. Youâ€™re not alone.

What type of things do you enjoy doing? Do you have any hobbies or interests? You could pursue these things you enjoy doing, perhaps by joining a club or group that is related to your interest. It helps fill in time until you are able to get a job, lets you to get away from those people you call â€˜bratsâ€™, help you to stop focusing on down side of life, and will enable you to meet new people, perhaps potential friends.

Or, you could join a volunteer group in your area. True, working in volunteer groups doesn't get money, but you can get enjoyment out of it, and it looks REALLY good on a resume that you hand in with a job application later on, and increases your chances of being employed. You could also use someone in volunteer groups that you are a member of, as a good referee (which is a person who is called by a potential employer, to see what you are like).

I like to do little selfless things each day, like, say for example, donating blood, because then it makes me feel good about myself, knowing that I helped someone in need.

It can be really disheartening to find that you have not been accepted for a job. But keep trying! Persistence is the key.

There arenâ€™t many kids or teenagers that do ANY kind of cleaning. Including my brother! Your parents should be really appreciative that you do things like cleaning the shower without them having to tell you to do it.

Feel free to PM me at any time if you wish to talk. smile

bmah · Jul 29, 2008 6:29 AM

raven wrote:

It can be really disheartening to find that you have not been accepted for a job. But keep trying! Persistence is the key.

True, but we must remember that, in addition to keep trying, realize that for a job that accepts 5 positions with 30 applicants (as an example), 25 people won't get it. You're not by any means worse off than others, so find another job, or just volunteer. You'll at least have something to do over the summer.
I think you're taking this too hard over yourself. If you want positives to come out of your issue, you need to start eliminating some pessimism and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

John Man 1234 · Jul 29, 2008 5:30 PM

It's great you do things like cleaning your shower without your parents having to tell you if you have any interests you should try that also your not alone my summer started out pretty depressing but my bro my cousin and one of my best friends and his girlfriend came to visit and now there going to my school with me when summer's over you just hang in there I know you can do it.

#1 Jul 28, 2008 9:48 PM

This summer has really bummed me out

#2 Jul 29, 2008 2:20 AM

Re: This summer has really bummed me out

#3 Jul 29, 2008 3:58 AM

Re: This summer has really bummed me out

#4 Jul 29, 2008 4:42 AM

Re: This summer has really bummed me out

#5 Jul 29, 2008 5:29 AM

Re: This summer has really bummed me out

#6 Jul 29, 2008 6:29 AM

Re: This summer has really bummed me out

#7 Jul 29, 2008 5:30 PM

Re: This summer has really bummed me out

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