#1 Jul 27, 2008 5:34 AM

SpyroFanatic

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From: boom.

Registered: May 14, 2008

Posts: 3,331

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Ika's Story

Lately, I've been writing a story.  I don't mind if you post comments that say like, "One thing I think you should've edited was-" Like that. I actually want comments like that. Here it is.

Chapter 1
The new wolf

   

It was all he had ever wished for, to be in a pack. His dream was to be leader. Oh, how he hoped that someday he could be top wolf, pack leader, head wolf. But that always will stay a dream, always.
    Ika rested his head on his paws and fell into a deep sleep. He had fallen asleep in the most dangerous part of spring forest, outside their den. The others walked into the den and fell asleep next to the fire. Whimpering and howling was heard from within.
    As Ika awoke – at about five in the morning – he heard a growling from he trees. It was still dark out so he couldn’t see much. He snarled back loudly. “Who’s there?” He asked into the night. The snarling soon stopped and he heard footsteps. He was sure something was there.
And, he was right. Out stepped a beautiful wolf with markings that resembled a blue jay. She promptly howled before Ika and lied down. Ika wasn’t sure what she was, a wolf… or a dragolf. So, he reared up – eager to see her expression – and out stretched his large red dragon wings. His many teeth showed and it frightened the white wolf but she stayed stern. Her ears twitched as she moved her paws back and forth.
    When Ika landed, she rose to her feet. Ika’s wings disappeared into his skin. As the sun appeared in the sky, it became clear to Ika that she too had wings, blue jay wings. But how? All the members in his pack were supposed to be the only ones. “I’m sorry…. Did I interru-,” she began. “No. It’s alright.” He smiled. It was obvious that Ika was attracted to her. “Do you have a place to sleep?” She looked around then at the den. “N… No, I don’t,” she said, smiling. Ika motioned over to the den and she walked with him into it.

Chapter 2
A Long Journey

    Ika had stayed up all night watching the feminine wolf as she slept peacefully. He was very attracted to her but so unsure. He watched her and examined her markings. She was like him, a dragolf. But different. Did she have his powers? Was she more powerful? Could she kill him? The thought sent chills down his spine.
    As the moon set and the sun rose, Ika slowly drifted off to sleep. The other wolf awoke and the pack members stood there shocked. “Hi,” she said, quietly. All the other pack members were male and she was irresistible. One of them smiled and laughed nervously. “Hello, I’m Todd,” he said back. He walked towards her and she took a few steps back. “Stop!” she said, backing up even more. Todd kept walking towards her and Ika awoke. He watched the two, wondering what the girl would do. “I said STOP!” she yelled as a fire-bomb cam out of her mouth and went racing towards Todd. Todd was hit and fell over, in pain. Ika opened his eyes wider. Did… Did he just see what he thought he did?
    She went out of the den and out into the open. She had started to cry, she had betrayed Ika, betrayed her own kind! She had hurt them and now… she had to leave. “Stop this, Star.” Her tears slowly went away. “Stop this. You shouldn’t be crying over this,” she told herself. Star stopped where she was and looked around. Where was she?
    As she puzzled herself about that, a blue jay flew down to her and landed on her shoulder. “Every time Gandia. Why? Why is it me? Why was I cursed?” Gandia jumped to the ground and shape shifted into a small cat. “You weren’t cursed, Star. However, you’re right, every time we do have to leave. Then again, maybe this time will be different,” Gandia was like a pet to Star. Although, Gandia held Star’s soul. If he died, Star died. He was called a Nayia.
         Gandia paused and his ears shifted to point one-way. “Someone’s there.” He turned around. Star turned too. “What, what is it?” Gandia went low to the ground and Star did the same. “Shhh…”
    “Star!” Ika yelled as he unknowingly walked towards them. “How does he know my name?” Star whispered. “STAR!” Ika yelled even louder. Gandia sniffed the air, “He’s evil, Star. You need to attack him, kill him.” She looked at Gandia, “Why would I attack my own kind?” her voice was raised. Ika had heard her and he walked towards her then began to run. “I’m sorry but you have to.” Star growled. “Fine,” she quietly said. Ika walked closer to them, only to see Star throwing all her weight at him. Star hit Ika at full force and they both flew back. Ika landed on a tree. Angrily, he bombed her and flew off.
    Star looked up in tears and shook her head. She looked pathetic. “I...I love him...” she mumbled to herself. Looking like a zombie, she flew after him. Her arms fell limp as she flew across the sky after Ika. “Ika,” “Ika!” she yelled. He didn’t even look back and zoomed like a plane. This made Star stop flying in amazement. She flew down to the ground. A pond was near. She walked to it slowly and lapped up some water. Then, looked in. Her reflection glimmered as the moon began to rise. “He’s so strong,” she looked away in shame. “I admire him so...” She flew off, Gandia by her side.
    Meanwhile, Ika wedged himself in between two rocks. It was very comfortable but so tight. He quietly watched the crickets hop and soon fell into a deep sleep. Within two hours, he found himself awoken by a gentle nudge. He saw Nyhm in his ferret form. “What is it... Nyhm?” Ika blinked his eyes a couple times. “Star left.” “WHAT? Where is she?” Nyhm pointed to he East. “That way.” Ika readied himself for flight and took off. Nyhm shapesifted into a bat and flew beside Ika. Nyhm was also Nayia, he held Ika’s soul.
    The flight was hard. First of all, there was a blizzard and freezing rain. Nyhm started eating and drinking all the snow and rain. So they had to stop frequently for Nyhm to go to the bathroom. “HURRY IT UP NYHM!” Birds flew out of the trees. “Okay, okay,” Nyhm whispered. They flew off again but now, the sun was rising. “Great, now she’s probably dead.” Nyhm looked at Ika, “Why did you say that?” His nose wiggled. “Firebreathers.” Nyhm’s eyes widened as he gulped.
        By now, Star was already flying over the ocean. “Do you think I should’ve left?” Star asked. “No.” Gandia replied. “Why not?” She licked her hurt paw. “He could protect us from those!” Ahead were nasty creatures. Feathers covered their whole body and they are known to fly without wings. Their faces resembled a dragons, along with their firebreathing/fire bombing ability. This, flew straight for them and a fire bomb raced to Star. She was hit and fell, quickly. “Buh-Bye!” Gandia said to the Firebreather and flew down after Star. The FireBreather looked down but luckily for them, he was too lazy to go after them.
        Ika saw a blue object falling. He flew as fast as he could to it only to see that... it was Star!

raven

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From: Queensland, Australia

Registered: Apr 11, 2008

Posts: 491

Gems: 3

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Re: Ika's Story

Hey SpyroFanatic.
Overall, I though it was a very well written story. It's got me curious about what's going to happen between Ika and Star. Dragolfs is a new creation. And you've got excellent spelling and grammar!
When Nymn and Gandia were introduced into the story, I was abit unsure about who they were, or what their relationship was to Ika and Star. That's the only possible area of improvement I've noticed at this stage.

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SpyroFanatic

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From: boom.

Registered: May 14, 2008

Posts: 3,331

Gems: 0

Re: Ika's Story

Thanks! I'll get to working on that!

SpyroFanatic

Member

From: boom.

Registered: May 14, 2008

Posts: 3,331

Gems: 0

Re: Ika's Story

Edited. (talk talk post post 2 2 short short)