Jokes!

Clock-la · Dec 15, 2011 12:12 AM

Aceedwin wrote:

I have a favourite joke, but it involves a baby and a sex doll, so I've give you a German joke instead.
.

I think thats made my day!

And as for the new members Im clock-la BTw queen of spamm and i have a good mind to give you all an *bleep* woppin' so stay on my good side kay'?

Now who want's awfull Disney jokes!!

Q. Why did Captain Hook cross the road?
A. To shop at the second-hand store.

What did Snow White say when her photos weren't ready yet?
Some Day My Prints Will Come

Where does Ariel go when one of her friends is missing?
The Lost and Flounder Department

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet?
Because he was looking for Pooh

Q. Why can't Cinderella play soccer?
A. Because she runs away from the ball.

Hwd45 · Dec 15, 2011 12:26 AM

Wind turbines.

I'm a big fan.

I was having a lovely sleep earlier until some inconsiderate c*** decided to bounce off my windscreen.

{ mod edit: please don't double post within such a short timespan, thanks }

GLYgames · Dec 15, 2011 4:58 PM

Hwd45 wrote:

Sure, the jokes aren't hilarious, and would only been seen as funny to this with A specific sense of humour, but really, 'Learn to see the obvious'? Come on now, they're just a few jokes, nothing to get angry about.

Exactly!!!!! I think he was a bit upset he didn't think of them wink

Clock-la · Dec 15, 2011 5:15 PM

Im a she.

No i just don't think the holocosat is funny to joke about. how very odd of me. the killing of over 6 million jews and countless other minoritys is'nt funny! i must be the odd one here ¬_¬

Hwd45 · Dec 15, 2011 9:08 PM

Clock-la wrote:

Im a she.
No i just don't think the holocosat is funny to joke about. how very odd of me. the killing of over 6 million jews and countless other minoritys is'nt funny! i must be the odd one here ¬_¬

It's not my joke. Yes, it was one of the worst disasters to have ever struck upon the Earth, but I wasn't actually making fun of it. I was saying that it's worse than a half-eaten worm in an apple. Because it is.

Clock-la · Dec 15, 2011 9:12 PM

I still don't find jokes about it funny.
You can say what ever you like to back trail but it won't change the fact I just don't think its funny. sorry but thats my view

Hwd45 · Dec 15, 2011 10:17 PM

Clock-la wrote:

I still don't find jokes about it funny.
You can say what ever you like to back trail but it won't change the fact I just don't think its funny. sorry but thats my view

And I accept your opinion. There's no reason why you shouldn't feel that way tongue

Has anyone got any more jokes? I mean... Decent ones?

Swaffy · Dec 16, 2011 12:22 AM

GLYgames wrote:

Wow, telling me to "lern" First of all learn to spell LEARN before using it! And I thought they were funny, ure just a sad guy who doesn't have a sense of humour!

Hmm ... why do you snap at her for bad grammar yet you say "ure"?
Shouldn't it be "you're"? By the way, Clocky is a female. I think.

So... here are a bunch of computer nerd jokes.

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...

- - -

Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry. Internet Explorer.

- - -

True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!

- - -

Customer: My PC wont start.
Tech: Is it plugged in?
Customer: I can't tell. It's too dark to see behind my desk because the power went out in the building.

Neotyguy40 · Dec 16, 2011 3:02 AM

Dear new members,

Please do not start arguments with us. We've already had them all, and I will personally bring you down to my own level and beat the digital crap out of you...

Love Neo.

Clock-la · Dec 16, 2011 2:19 PM

Neotyguy40 wrote:

Dear new members,
Please do not start arguments with us. We've already had them all, and I will personally bring you down to my own level and beat the digital crap out of you...
Love Neo.

He stuck up for me?

Wow it must be christmas O-o

Anyway sorry for over reacting and causing all this it just I don't like them type of jokes at all D':

Anyway heres a bunch of batman jokes

How many caped crusaders does it take to change a light-bulb?

-None. They like the dark.

- What position did Bruce Wayne play on his little-league team?
- He was the bat-boy.

-How does Batman's mother call him to dinner?

-(tune of 1960's theme) Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner Batman!!!

-Why did Bruce's date go badly?

-Because he has BAT breath!

-What does Batgirl wear to bed?

-Her Dark Knight gown!

-What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile?

-Get in the Batmobile Robin!

I don't get the last one O-o

Hwd45 · Dec 16, 2011 6:16 PM

Clock-la wrote:

-What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile?
-Get in the Batmobile Robin!

I don't get the last one O-o

I think it's supposed to be an anti-joke. Or, perhaps it's just one of those jokes like 'why did the chicken cross the road', which nobody actually gets. I mean, do you get that joke?

Clock-la · Dec 16, 2011 7:37 PM

I donno, but I herd the chicken crossed the road to viset his flat mate.

GLYgames · Dec 16, 2011 8:50 PM

Clock-la wrote:

I donno, but I herd the chicken crossed the road to viset his flat mate.

Your thinking of the hedgehog joke!

Why did Andy (from toy story) cross the playground? To get to the other slide!

Clock-la · Dec 16, 2011 10:09 PM

Dude it dos'nt matter if its a chicken OR hedghog you still get the same effect from it.

Reminds me of my friend in RL honistly i was terlling a joke but I changed the name to timmy i think and she had a massive go at me saying "HE'S CALLED JOE IN THE JOKE NOT TIMMY! OMG!!" I mean serriosly the names arn't inportent in the joke.

Heres that joke BTW

Timmy and his friend are watching a film and timmy says "Hey I bet you £20 the bad guy gets out the car and lives" The friend says "sure" suddenly the car falls and the bad guy falls with it.
As timmy hands over the £20 the friend says "i feel rather guilty...i'v seen this film befor so I know the ending..."
To wich timmy replys "Oh so have I. I just never thought he'd be stupid enough to makt the same mistake twice."

Neotyguy40 · Dec 16, 2011 10:25 PM

Clock-la wrote:

Dude it dos'nt matter if its a chicken OR hedghog you still get the same effect from it.

One will give you a flat tire...

GLYgames · Dec 17, 2011 12:04 AM

Clock-la wrote:

Dude it dos'nt matter if its a chicken OR hedghog you still get the same effect from it.
Reminds me of my friend in RL honistly i was terlling a joke but I changed the name to timmy i think and she had a massive go at me saying "HE'S CALLED JOE IN THE JOKE NOT TIMMY! OMG!!" I mean serriosly the names arn't inportent in the joke.
Heres that joke BTW
Timmy and his friend are watching a film and timmy says "Hey I bet you £20 the bad guy gets out the car and lives" The friend says "sure" suddenly the car falls and the bad guy falls with it.
As timmy hands over the £20 the friend says "i feel rather guilty...i'v seen this film befor so I know the ending..."
To wich timmy replys "Oh so have I. I just never thought he'd be stupid enough to makt the same mistake twice."

lol I've heard that joke before, but instead of a friend, it's a blonde joke wink

Clock-la · Dec 17, 2011 12:01 PM

Neotyguy40 wrote:

Clock-la wrote:
Dude it dos'nt matter if its a chicken OR hedghog you still get the same effect from it.
One will give you a flat tire...

i lol'd XD

@GLY I'v herd it that way to. There was anouther good blond joke I heard/

A man wishes to prove blonds are not stupid, so at a blond convention he calls a blond to the stage and says "Im gonna prove you are not stupid!!" he procedes to ask the blond.

"what is 2+2?"
The blond replys "urrmm....22??"
The sciantest dissapointed by this anser says no.
But the crowd of blonds yell "Oh please try again try again!!"
The man agrees and asks the blond whats "3x3?"
The blond replys "93!"
The crowd once more shout "Oh please give here anouther go plaese!!!!"
The man then irritated asks the blond one last question "What is 9+1?"
The the mans surprise the blond says "ten!!"
To wich the crowd respond "Oh please give here another chance!!"

Swaffy · Dec 17, 2011 6:01 PM

The blonde I know is the smartest female I've ever met.

Clock-la · Dec 17, 2011 6:31 PM

^ now theres a joke!!!!!

IM JOKING IM NOT BLONIST!!!!

Hwd45 · Dec 17, 2011 11:13 PM

Friends are like bananas.

If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.

36IStillLikeSpyro36 · Dec 18, 2011 4:36 AM

why were the scissors upset

▼Hidden text

(credit goes to me)

Clock-la · Dec 18, 2011 2:50 PM

◦What's a frog's favorite drink?
◦Croaka Cola.

Swaffy · Dec 18, 2011 8:31 PM

36IStillLikeSpyro36 wrote:

why were the scissors upset
]they didn't make the cut
(credit goes to me)

Holy crap, that made my day! I haven't been able to laugh at something
stupid in a long time! Cool joke! Awesome. I need to calm down now.

Latias fan · Dec 19, 2011 3:42 AM

Spoilered cus It's a little dirty.

▼Hidden text

Hwd45 · Dec 19, 2011 11:42 AM

Latias fan wrote:

Spoilered cus It's a little dirty.
▼Hidden text
So a man and a women are waiting in line to checkin at a hotel. The guy slips and his elbow fell onto the breasts. The man got up and said
I am so sorry ma'm If your heart is as soft as your breasts can you forgive me?
The woman then said
If your *bleep* is as hard as your elbow, Meet me at room 315.

Hahaha! LOL! That's a good joke... It was probably best to keep it in a spoiler tag.

#26 Dec 15, 2011 12:12 AM

Re: Jokes!

#27 Dec 15, 2011 12:26 AM

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#28 Dec 15, 2011 4:58 PM

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#29 Dec 15, 2011 5:15 PM

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#30 Dec 15, 2011 9:08 PM

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#31 Dec 15, 2011 9:12 PM

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#32 Dec 15, 2011 10:17 PM

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#33 Dec 16, 2011 12:22 AM

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#34 Dec 16, 2011 3:02 AM

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#35 Dec 16, 2011 2:19 PM

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#36 Dec 16, 2011 6:16 PM

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#37 Dec 16, 2011 7:37 PM

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#38 Dec 16, 2011 8:50 PM

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#39 Dec 16, 2011 10:09 PM

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#40 Dec 16, 2011 10:25 PM

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#41 Dec 17, 2011 12:04 AM

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#42 Dec 17, 2011 12:01 PM

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#43 Dec 17, 2011 6:01 PM

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#44 Dec 17, 2011 6:31 PM

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#45 Dec 17, 2011 11:13 PM

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#46 Dec 18, 2011 4:36 AM

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#47 Dec 18, 2011 2:50 PM

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#48 Dec 18, 2011 8:31 PM

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#49 Dec 19, 2011 3:42 AM

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#50 Dec 19, 2011 11:42 AM

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