Red- * sniff* I am grateful that all of you came for my..m-m-mommy's funeral! ;_; * sniff *

[ Gnasty Gnorc is playing the organ ]

Red- I thank Ripto for bringing in some food for us to eat after this moment is over. I thank Nefertiti for-

Ineptune- Um, excuse me, it's Ineptune.

Red- I know what your dam name is, Nostradamus. Now let me finish on the behalf of my..my..mommy *sniff, sob* 

Ineptune- It's Ineptune!

Red- Nigeria, please! I'm talking right now! Do you have any respect, Napkin?

Ineptune- It's INEPTUNE!

Red- Can someone silence, Inert, here?

Ineptune- INEPTUNE.

Red- Yeah, okay, that's nice, Inertia. I know how much you love my mom, but I am talking * sniff * And right now, I am tooo emotional to even let any of you have the right to speak. Got it, Inception?

Ineptune- FOR THE LAST *bleep*ing TIME, IT'S INEPTUNE!   

Red- Poseidon, shut up! Now, time for the ceremony to begin!

[ some random gospel sound emerge ]

AT THE DRAGON TEMPLE

[ The guardians and others were getting ready to go for the funeral ]

Ignitus- You all ready?

Volteer- Ignitus, Red clearly stated that we're not invited to his mother's funeral. For the Chronicler's sake, we've murdered her with a bird that had diabetes!-........Ignitus, what is that on your head?

Ignitus- A sombrero Why?

Volteer-.....we're going to funeral, not a Mexican fiesta.

Ignitus- Tomato-tamoto.  Potato-Pototo.

Volteer- * sighs * Spyro, you ready to go?

Spyro- What the hell do I look like wearing this cheap monkey suit you placed me in? I've decided in wanting to murder all of you slowly as possible.

Volteer- Okay, now run along with Cynder and Sparks. <8/ We don't want you to hold us up.

Terrador- Great. They better have cigarettes when we get there.

Volteer- Terry, we're going to a funeral.

Terrador-..when was this? I thought we were going to a Mexican fiesta.

Volteer- What?....* looks directly as Ignitus * <-<

Ignitus-

Volteer-........

Cyril- Come on, guys. The cab is waiting for us!

[ They all walked out the door and went inside the cab ( how the hell did they all fit there? ) and drove off to the funeral. ]

END OF PART 4

*THE DOORBELL RINGS*

Red- Coming! * walks to the door and opens it * DIDN’T I TOLD YOU TO GO AWAY!?

Ignitus- Daw! But, Red, Terrador doesn’t want to play croquet anymore. I need a new player. <:(

Red- NO * slams the door*

*THE DOORBELL RINGS*

Red- *opens up the door* WHAT!?

Ignitus- Please?

Red- NO! *slams the door*

*THE DOORBELL RINGS*

Red-*opens the door* YOU RED FIRE-HEADED, STUPID FAT UGLY PIECE OF SHI-

Mom- *gasp* Oh my!

Red- O_O… M-m-…mommy?

Mom- How dare you say that to your mother, didn’t I teach you any manners?

Red- Why yes, mommy! O_O I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to insult you!
Please, come in! *takes his mom inside*

Mom- Dagnabbit! I left my pills back home!

Red- * lets his mom on the couch* It’s alright, mommy. I got pills in the kitchen.

Mom- * looks at the broken window* Redginald, I like the new window you have.

Red-…No, mommy, the window is broken -_-

Mom- I can’t see the difference.

Red- Mommy, I’ll be right back with some pills and a glass of water.

Mom- I remember when I use to ride the trolley!

Red- Yes, yes, that is good, mommy. * goes into the kitchen*

OUTSIDE

Volteer- Iggy, are you sure about using birds to play this game?

Cyril- * pets the canary* :3

Ignitus- Yeah, they’re birdies aren’t they? * pulls out Chester*

Volteer- Alright O_e…

Ignitus- Think fast! * hits Chester with his racket *

Volteer- O_O  HOLY SHI-*dodges instead of hitting it*

RED’S HOUSE

Red- Mommy, I’m back with your medicine!

Mom- Why, thank you, Redginald. You’re the best son, I’ve ever had.

*Chester crashed through the other window and smacked Red’s mom dead in her face, causing her to flip over the couch and losing her false teeth*

Red- MOMMY! O_O

Mom- * is on the floor with her slippered feet in the air*

Red- MOMMY! O_O * bends down to help her* MOMMY, WAKE UP!

*Ignitus, Volteer, and Cyril poked their heads through his other broken window*

Ignitus- Wow, Red, you really know how to style your windows!

Cyril- Volteer, why is Red holding a giant wrinkled sausage on the floor?

Volteer- I think that’s his mother! O_o Oh my lord, Ignitus, I-I think we’ve killed his mother!
Red- Mommy! Speak to me! * is sobbing *

Red’s mom- * with her last breathe* I’m so sorry, my son, but I have lived long enough. Now it is my time to go. Please, take care of yourself and be a good boy. Remember, I’ll always love you,…Redginald. *dies*

Red- *sniffles* m-m-mommy ;-;

Volteer- <8(

Cyril- <8’(

Ignitus-..:/……Hehe, your name’s Redginald

END OF PART TWO

It was a cold and windy morning and Ignitus was playing with Terrador in a difficult game of croquet.

Terrador- Iggy, how are we going to play croquet if we don't have any birdies?

Ignitus- We need birdies to play croquet? O_o

Terrador- I gave you 30 dollars to buy a can full of them. What the heck did you wasted the money on?

Ignitus- * pulls out a bird cage with canaries in it *:D

Terrador-...Iggy,......when are you NOT stupid? -_-

Ignitus-..But, Terry, you said to by a bunch of birdies and so I did. The fattest one name is Chester. He has diabetes.

Terrador-...Wait, Since when did birds have diabetes? O_o

Ignitus- Since the day the Chronicler was able to touch his winkie, but I'm guessing that you were telling me to get a different kind of birdie, right?

Terrador-...e_e.w-w-wait......what the heck is a winkie?-

Ignitus-..Shhhhsssh, Terry, this is a kid's story. You want to get in trouble by the moderators?

Terrador- O_o...What?,..But-

Ignitus- Okay then.

Terrador-..*sigh* Never mind.  Well anyway, I guess these birds will have to do. <_<

AT RED'S HOUSE

Red- * is cleaning his house in his flowered apron * Oh god! My mother is going to be coming over soon! I have to make this place look descent!

* A dead canary crashed through his window and smacked dead in his face, causing him to fall over. He rose from his carpet floor with a swollen black eye *

Red-....grrrrr.. IGNITUS!!!

* Ignitus poked his head inside his broken window *

Ignitus- Wow, Red, I like the new window you got here.

Red- Ignitus, you broke my *bleep* windo- >8/

Ignitus- I like the window you got-

Red- Ignitus, you broke my *bleep* window!! >8/

Ignitus-..:|....Oh.....Hey! Is that our birdie?

Red-.......* Narrows eyes * You're playing croquet with an actual dead bird?..

Ignitus- Yep

Red-..Ignitus,.....when are you not stupid?

Ignitus- You wanna join us? You got a nice strong arm there, Reddy Ol' Pal.

Red- No, I don't want to play croquet with you idiots not after you SABOTAGED MY *bleep* WINDOW!!

Ignitus- ... You suuuuuuuuuuuuuure?

Red- YES, I'M SURE!! D8<

Ignitus-....Nice window you got here

Red-...*sighs with deep frustration*...Ignitus,..listen. My mother is coming over and I don't want you and the rest of your rainbow bunch ruining my day or embarrassing me in front of my mother. GOT IT?

Ignitus- Sure can do, Red!

Red- Good. NOW GET AWAY FROM ME!

Ignitus- * skips back to the temple * LALALALA!

END OF PART ONE

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