It started when our next door neighbours noticed that our cat's (he's called Rupert and we shared him) paw had swelled madly so it looked almost the size of a dog's paw. We took him to the vet and he had some tests done. This was the worst bit.
The tests came back and it was announced that one side of Rupert's heart wasn't working properly, which meant his blood wasn't being pumped efficiantly and it was too thick. To reduce this condition he'd have to take a tablet a day. We could live with this - but additionally Rupert had diabetes, badly. He'd have to have 2 injections of insulin a day - though we couldn't give him the injection unless he ate. It was like having your stomach squeezed too tightly - we didn't have a clue what to do.
At first we wondered if we should put him down. It was uneasily decided at that - but our next door neighbour came round and suggested we give the insulin a try. So we started injecting him and he ate well and he seemed to be doing great for the first few days - but his progress was short lived. He stopped eating and so we couldn't inject him or give him his heart tablets. He got so ill. The painful thing was that he could have a good day where he ate - but then he could just stop eating suddenly and we were stuck in the horrible situation all over again.
We had to put him down.
He hadn't even lasted a week.
He wasn't going to see the summer sunshine or even the grey rain we normally get - he was just going to be gone.
I was there when it happened - and it hurt so much, just seeing him go like that. And I hate it so much because I sometimes wonder if we killed him, if he'd still be here if we'd left it, if he'd got better.

But it's all in the past now. Though it hurt, being with him to the end helped, in a way. It helped me grieve.
:'(

I had a panic attack this morning because my cat ran away last night.
He came back though.

That's good

but we have a gold fish now and a new cat who im going to make shure gets pregant XD

Oh well, it's nature.