Spyro the Dragon Forums / Renee:Her Story

Re: Renee:Her Story

dummy@example.com (cynderfan) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 06:51:48 +0000

Just like when I made my first few stories
1. Short
2. Hard to read

Keep on doing your best!

Re: Renee:Her Story

dummy@example.com (the dark dragoness queen) — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 14:50:29 +0000

in reply to your signature: so true!

Re: Renee:Her Story

dummy@example.com (spyroandcynder4ever) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 18:39:54 +0000

I think it's ok, but like Saphira said, start a new paragraph whenever someone new speaks. But overall it's a good start.

Re: Renee:Her Story

dummy@example.com (Nightfall) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 16:04:03 +0000

Hmm... Looks OK, but it's really hard to read. Try starting a new paragraph each time someone new speaks, hm? That'll improve it greatly.

Renee:Her Story

dummy@example.com (the dark dragoness queen) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 12:45:06 +0000

Chapter One:Existence Wasn't That Good Anymore
''Another child? I didnt ask for one.'' ''Neither did I. I dont want this child.'' ''We must take care of it. Or we'll get a bad reputation of parents.'' ''Fine.'' These were the words of my parents, Niaya and Magmar. I had just been born, they didn't seem to enjoy my birth. They only took care of me to not have been looked down upon by others. ''What should we do with her?'' ''Lets just name it Renee and get rid of it when she's ten.'' They put me in a cardboard box with one very small hole poked through and flew off to our home. When we landed i saw a younger male dragon. ''Is it a girl or boy?'' ''Girl. She's called Renee'' I giggled at my brother, who's name is Flamer. ''Yuck, little sister?'' ''live with it Flamer.''
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end of chapter one.