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#1 Aug 09, 2018 3:28 PM

KrakenGuard
Member
Registered: Aug 08, 2018
Posts: 21
Gems: 178

Spyro and the Lost Valley

Aw man, it's a fanfic thing! But before I kick things off...
... I REALLY wanted to write a sort of intro thing : I can picture it in my head, but I can't for the life of me find the right words for the dialog. And while I DO want to write a sort of intro for the thing, I also kinda want to set things off before I lose the inspiration for it.
But yeah... Intro : it WILL come around eventually. I just want to start writing off on the OTHER stuff before I lose it.
So anyhoo... To make the long story short...

Gnasty Gnorc and Ripto banded together to take care of "The Spyro Problem."
... That in and of itself is a bit of a long story there.
So we skip forward through time : Spyro's managed to defeat Crush, Gulp, and Gnasty Gnorc again, and it's time to face off against Ripto. Again.
The catch? At some point or another, Ripto had managed to steal the Sorceress' spellbook from The Forgotten Worlds. And this... All-in-all, could lead to some problems.
So while Spyro's heading off to battle Ripto, Bianca joins in -- possibly with a few others(like Sheila, Agent 9, etc.) -- to try and persuade Ripto in giving the book back.
Of course... We all know how well THAT goes. Look what happened when Hunter told Ripto to give the Power Crystal back. It didn't work.
So Ripto figures he's going to use that same spell that the Sorceress used back when she banished the dragons.
It worked... To an extent... He managed to banish ONE dragon -- that being Spyro, of course.
However, the spell had also backfired on him, so he ended up banishing himself AND Spyro.

... So yeah. That's basically the intro : Spyro heading off to confront Ripto. Ripto casts a spell.
Now they're both in a sort of situation...

Kiiiiiiiiinda undecided on whether this follows sometime after Year of the Dragon, or if this takes place sometime after, like... Season of Ice/Flame/Enter the Dragonfly/Attack of the Rhynocs -- kinda leaning more toward... After Year of the Dragon, so those other games... May or may not have happened.
Thoughts?

In any case...! Criticism? Suggestions? I'm all open for 'em!
Now, let's roll the tape!

Spyro and the Lost Valley
Chapter 1

The dragon flinched at the sound of a faint buzzing, his nose twitching as he felt a slight tickle, as if an insect was crawling around upon his snout...
With a soft grumble, the dragon's eyes finally opened ; and staring back was a familiar face...

"Sparx...?"

The glowing dragonfly gave off a cheerful buzz in response, wrapping it's arms around the dragon's nose in a light hug... Spyro could not help but smile slightly at the gesture, before finally pushing himself up onto his feet, and shaking his head... Once his mind had cleared somewhat, the dragon took a look around at his surroundings, arching a brow when he realized there was nothing at all familiar about his present location.

They were in the center of a cave, it would seem ; and up above was a great opening which revealed the sky. Judging from the orangey hue, the dragon figured it was dawn. But as the sun had not yet reached it's peak, there was no light to shine down from the opening... Thankfully, Sparx's glow provided them with just enough light to get a better look at their surroundings... The dragon's eyes momentarily lit up when the dragonfly's glow illuminated a portal before them. But the portal was without magic.

With a frown, the purple dragon turned away from the portal, and returned to the center of the cave.

"Where are we?" Spyro mused aloud, looking over to the dragonfly as he sat down. With a soft hum, the dragon thought back to what he had remembered last...

There was the fight with Gnasty Gnorc in the courtyard at Winter Tundra... Oh! That's right!

"Ripto!" The dragon piped up. "We were heading off to fight Ripto! Weren't we Sparx?"

Spyro looked over to the dragonfly, who gave a buzz of confirmation.

"It looks like he managed to cast that banishing spell then... I sure hope the others didn't get caught up in it."

Sparx gave a few more buzzes in repsonse, zipping around the dragon's head... He found no sign of Bianca, or Sheila, or Agent 9, or anyone... Not within that immediate vicinity at least... But during the time that Spyro was unconscious, the dragonfly mentioned finding a tunnel, though he did not venture through to find out where the tunnel led. But the dragon immediately perked up at this news.

"Well, I don't see anywhere else to go except through that portal, or up ; but the portal doesn't have any power, and there aren't any magical vortexes anywhere," said Spyro, standing himself back up on all fours. "Looks like we've only got one way to go... C'mon, Sparx! You lead the way."

And with a buzz, the dragonfly zipped off, with the dragon following close behind. Sure enough, Sparx had brought Spyro to that same tunnel that he had mentioned before. And without a single trace of hesitation, both dragon and dragonfly rushed through... The journey through the tunnel itself was quiet short, and Spyro soon re-emerged on the other side...

The dragon came to a sudden halt, creating a cloud of dust which... Momentarily obscured his vision. Waving a paw to clear the dust cloud from his face,  the dragon took a moment to survey the environment around him ; and from what he saw, it was not at all cheerful : dead trees, small patches of dried grass, and a puddle of dirtied water... The dragon took a step forward, and frowned, noting that there was a strange lack of a breeze... And Sparx had also pointed out the lack of animals. No sheep. No rabbits. Nothing. It was as if this strange place was completely abandoned. Forgotten...

"Sheesh... At least the Forgotten Worlds had some kind of life to them," the dragon remarked... But then, at that precise moment, the dragon perked upon hearing a sudden cry for help, which broke through the silence. "Well hey! Spoke too soon!" Said Spyro.

... Although the voice did not belong to any of his friends. Which, that itself was a relief. But the voice calling for help was one that the dragon was still quite familiar with. And he frowned... He looked to the dragonfly, who also seemed to recognize the voice, judging from the frown that he, too, sported...

Both dragon and dragonfly rushed in the direction of the voice. And as they drew nearer, they slowed their pace. Peaking around the corner, the dragon could only blink in surprise as he took in the sight before him...

"CRUUUUUUUSH! GUUUUUULP! Where are you? Get me down from here NOW!!"

... Well, that confrontation could not have ended more anticlimactically... Caught up in a branch of a large tree was none other than Ripto himself, arms flailing about as he called out for his lackeys.

Another glance was spared between dragon and dragonfly, before their attention returned to the the saurian sorcerer, who seemed to be completely oblivious to the dragon's presence... Seating himself down beside a boulder with an amused smirk on his face, Spyro kept quiet. Just to savor the sight of the sorcerer's predicament... And finally, after a good several moments, the dragon stood up, and casually strode up to the base of the tree, before calling out :

"Hey, Shorty!"

The sorcerer tensed, and fell silent... Worked every time. Seating himself back down, Spyro waved a paw in sort a of mock greeting as the sorcerer glanced downward with that typical, hate-filled glare.

"YOU!" The miniature dinosaur called out, pointing a clawed finger down at the dragon.

"Yup! It's me," answered the dragon, giving off a toothy grin. "Hangin' out I see!"

"YOU BE QUIET!" exclaimed the sorcerer, flailing his arms and legs about in an effort to unhook his cape from the branches. But it was all to no avail. He was stuck up there ; and a good thing too...

"I will get down from here... And when I do, you will be sorry!"

"Wow, you're really running short on words there if that's the best you can come up with," said Spyro with a roll of his eyes. "You've got no one else to blame but yourself... Bianca warned you not to go messing with the Sorceress' spellbook, and now look where we are."

"... But I succeeded," the sorcerer started. "I succeeded in banishing you, at least."

"So you did," Spyro responded with a slight frown, before regaining his smug smirk. "But at least I'm not stuck up in a tree like you."

That remark, of course, earned Spyro a particularly nasty glare from the sorcerer... But the dragon wasn't at all phased. With an intake of breath, the dragon stood himself up and stretched.

"Well... I'm gonna head off. See if I can make heads-or-tails on our whereabouts... Try not to get into too much trouble."

The dragon gave off another smirk to the sorcerer before striding off with his head held high, with the dinosaur throwing all manner of curses(the non-magical kind) and threats the dragon's way... But before long, the saurian sorcerer had returned to calling out for help : only this time with a bit more desperation... And maybe a hint of hopelessness too.

"Somebody...? Anybody...? Help..."

... So yeah.
That's one chapter -- not including the intro which I have yet to write.
And, like I said : I AM open for some suggestions -- I feel that there's still a lot I could improve on -- I feel like there needs to be a little bit more in dialog...
So yes! Please, share your thoughts!


"ENOUGH! Here is the truest tale of all : There was an almighty, all-powerful wizard, and there was a pathetic purple dragon, AND THE WIZARD DESTROYED HIM!! THE END!"

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#2 Oct 21, 2018 8:03 PM

thetruefan
Member
From: Israel
Registered: May 10, 2014
Posts: 3,181
Gems: 7
Gender: Male
Website

Re: Spyro and the Lost Valley

I like it! My only complaint really is that you divide paragraphs too much, making each one consist of 1-2 lines. It looks unprofessional and makes it sort of hard to read. Other than that, your writing is stylish and has a good flow to it. Keep it up! smile


He didn't have a word for 'home', but he knew it was something that had to be defended.

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